Bliss-Girls

We work only when we know we gain something out of it. Nothing wrong about that, It’s human nature. But then there is a class of people who work for the betterment of society. They expect nothing in return, they do get something more important and which means a lot to them – joy and satisfaction. They are what we call volunteers. And today in this post, I would like to introduce Vijaya who has been doing voluntary social services work in the UK for more than four decades. She is humble, dynamic, soft-spoken, independent and inspiring. I feel honoured to know her and to be writing about her charismatic personality.

Early Life

Vijiya was born and raised in Bangalore, India and moved to UK post her marriage 53 years ago. She grew up in a big family of 10 children. She is the 7th child to her parents. Growing up, she was nurtured and cared by her parents, her aunt and uncle. She remembers being very independent from a very young age. She was also the first women from her family to go college but dropped out. She is a living example of what one can achieve in life even without a formal degree. She works really hard, she is dedicated and she enjoys her work and that’s her secret for her success.

Vijiya fell in love with her brother’s friend Ravindra who often visited her house. With the blessings of her parents they got married and soon moved to UK. Her husband worked as a psychiatrist with the NHS.

In 1970, she landed in London. I was quite stunned to learn that she travelled all by herself from Bombay to London and that too with a 5 pound note and a letter that her husband had mailed her. She said she had always been independent and that she was never apprehensive about travelling alone or trying out new things. She also did not face any issues settling in a new country, she says she was prepared for the new life.

Nursing and other Hobbies

Once in the UK she joined nursing training in Exeter. She trained for 2 years as psychiatric nurse. She and her husband worked in the same hospital. She used to work for long hours for 3 and 1/2 days a week and on the remaining days she would do things she loved. She was a member of national housewife’s register and would run cooking demonstrations to collect money for charity.

About her work she says it was hard work both physically and mentally. She had worked in psychogeriatric assessment ward where she had to deal with patients with dementia. Her job in psychiatry meant she had to deal with few violent patients. Over years she learnt to deal with that. She and her husband had decided they would do as much as they can for the patients and never discuss about work whilst at home.

Volunteering

Vijaya took a career break to be with her children in their initial years. Once her 2 daughters were in school, she started volunteering with social services in Lancaster. She started volunteering in 1980 and continued till 2004 till she left Lancaster.

In her volunteering role, she worked in Lancaster prisons and used to talk to staff and inmates (appointed for home secretary) . I asked her about the stigma associated with prisoners and do they feel guilty about the crime that they committed. Her response was a food for thought. She said although they were prisoners they deserved a fair treatment and chance to lead a normal life once they are outside the prison. The chances of them leading a regular life are high if they are treated with respect just like any other human.

Vijiya left Lancaster to move to London, and therefore had to leave her voluntary position in Lancaster. In the year 2005 she was invited to a reception at Buckingham palace in recognition for her long volunteering service.

Since 2005, she has been volunteering with a voluntary care centre in London. In her current role she drives disabled people to various locations – takes them to health centres, theatres, recreational centres or anywhere they want to go. Vijiya loves driving and she said she learnt to drive in India before her marriage. She believes that if one has interest in something, they will always find time and way to pursue it. Apart from driving she also loves reading, swimming and entertaining.

Her love for volunteering is something she inherited from her mother. Vijiya says about her mother that she was always ready to help anyone in need. She would spend days at hospital caring for sick relatives or friends, help mothers deliver or help anyone in the community who needed any sort of assistance.

Vijiya’s sister Suguna, who lives in Bangalore, mentions that Vijaya does a lot of service even when she is visiting her family and friends in India. She visits hospitals, orphanages and as well interacts with a lot of youths to guide them.

Message for women

Vijiya says ‘if there is anything someone can do, I can do it too and if anything I can do anyone else can do it too. So do what you can, take what belongs to you; do not just sit at home’. She also says one must think of giving back to society in someway.

I asked her how she handles criticism and negative events and she said do not cry over spilt milk. We need to forgive people and most of all we need to forgive ourselves and then only we can move on. On criticism she says takes only what belongs to you, if it is the right feedback take it, if not then take it a pinch of salt and move on. Vijiya is a positive person and she says god has given us brain, Its in our hands to make good use of it to lead a happy and contented life.