Bliss-Girls

Humans are the most evolved species on the planet. We are 8 billion people, yet only a small portion lead a life of contentment. So, what stops many from finding happiness in life? why do many feel life is unfair or that life is a struggle? What stops us from exploring our full potential? The answer to all of this is our thoughts and behaviour. While environment, economic and social factors do play a certain role, at a fundamental level, its one’s thoughts and behaviour that shape and determine the quality of one’s life.

Following are the 5 behaviours that are self sabotaging. All of us exhibit these behaviours at various degrees and at various times. Most often these are mindless behaviours, we exhibit them unintentionally.

Over Analysis

We plan a lot about our future. All of us have a certain degree of anxiety about the future of our kids, our savings, our health. These are necessary but very often we go overboard. We are so focused in future that we do not live in this moment.

Our mind is a brilliant AI tool. You throw a scenario, it can suggest a hundred possibilities. We hear a any news, and the tool begins to work. It is very important to Pay attention to thoughts that flow immediately after hearing to something negative or when someone criticize you. Monitor your thoughts very closely and Call a hard stop if you find anger building up or if the first 3 to 5 thoughts in a row are not positive. Also call for a hard stop when you find yourself thinking about a subject for more than 90 minutes.

Outward Focus

We want others to like us, appreciate us. We spend so much time in our lives thinking about others. How did Mr X get so rich? Where did she buy her clothes from? How much does Miss Z make? How does that family manage to go on soo many vacations? These might not look like harmful thoughts, they are not good thoughts either. They are natural neutral thoughts. They come; but hanging on to them and thinking about those is what causes misery. But how? When these thoughts come, we do not speak to the person directly but rather we discuss with others or make assumptions. By doing so we are sowing a seed of desire and when that grows and we are not able to fulfil it, it leads to misery.

So how to manage this? Think inward. Focus on self. Every time you see someone or something better, take an inventory of all your strengths and skills. See if you can use anything you have and chalk out a plan to make something big out of it. Its ok even if you do not start working on your plan but just chalk out the plan.

Self Pity

No life is exception to negative incidents. Few manage to forget and move on while some are forever stuck in the situation. When we are frequently reliving an incident, we mostly end up feeling victims. But this starts out as a gradual process. Initially we find some peace with self-pity but over a period of time reliving a negative experience will introduce more frustration. We begin to see problems with everything and everyone. We end up seeking attention and making things worse for ourselves.

Is there a way to identify and come out of this? Yes. By being mindful. The first sign of self-pity doing worse of you is when you have the urge to tell off someone. Watch your thoughts again and again. If ever in any situation you think you will feel good by blaming others, Stop. Do Nothing and if you are itching to speak, write it down and do not speak to anyone about it. Go out to the open space for a walk, run or even go play a sport.

Refuse to let go

Ever wondered how many words you speak in a day? May be around 5000? All of it or Majority of this would be received by fellow humans. The other way round, we hear, approximately, about the same amount of words from various interactions during the day. Simple math, we hear approx. 150,000 words or more in a month. So then why do we cling on to some words which few critics say? Why do we hold grudges? Why do let words that have come out of some filthy mouth take the form of arrows and let that strike our minds?

So what do we do? Do nothing about negative words and bad incidents? Yes. That’s the answer. Do Nothing. Negative words and incidents happen at certain point of time. You do not have to make that time immortal. Let it go.

Refuse to learn

Success requires continuous learning. It is impossible to live without learning and adapting. When we do that without awareness and that’s evolution. But it is something that can be done with awareness too. We all have done it and many continue to do it. Some do it only at selected areas and selected times. But when we open up our minds to lean all the time and from everywhere, we will not miss out on opportunities.

On the flip side if we are thick headed, walk around like human encyclopaedia, we will just be that. A bounded book with no possibilities for further expansion and will soon be outdated. Because the world is constantly expanding. Choose wise and be always read to learn everywhere and from everyone.

Hope you enjoyed reading this post.